"tagged' by claw? *newbie confusion*

What if:
1 I committed suicide: I'd get a resurrection priest
2 I said I liked you: Doncha?
3 I kissed you: Erm, I'd blush?
4 I lived next door to you: I'd be near someone my own age in a 5 mile radius!
5 I started smoking: I'd kick you in the nuts.
6 I stole something: Same, but harder.
7 I was hospitalized: I'd aggro the assaulter silly.
8 I ran away from home: I'd put a tie scroll on you.
9 I got into a fight and you weren't there: I'd sensible talk it over, then go out to get my ass kicked in order to feel justified.

What do you think about my:
1 Personality: Cool, like the taste of Artic Chill Trident Gum
2 Eyes: Fuzzy, warm
3 Face: friendly and embraceful
4 Hair: Curly and red? Ron!
5 Clothes: I've only seen head shots so...none?
6 Mannerisms: Smexy

Other:
1 Who are you? I'm Irvin Huang, secret agent in disguise!
2 Are we friends? *takes out knife* Now we are!
3 When and how did we meet? Iono, mehbe on the crack fields
4 How have I affected you? Reason why I log onto Rushu every now and then
5 What do you think of me? Friendly face in Alaska!
6 What's the fondest memory you have of me? Watching ya own ppl in aggressions
7 How long do you think we will be friends or enemies? Until I get Alzheimer's
8 Do you love me? As a friend, sure!
9 Have I ever hurt you? Well I do have these scratches I get after I wake up...I KNEW IT!
10 Would you hug me? Sure
11 Would you kiss me? In dofus sure, in rl I want my first kiss to be special
12 Would you devirginize me? No ty
13 Would you marry me? If we lived in San Francisco
14 Emotionally, what stands out? I peald guilty to "no comprendo"
15 Do you wish I was cooler? Any cooler and you'd be frozen
16 On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I? 102948230948239042 - or 10
17 Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. Claw (b/c human nature is that we are lazy and cannot type out full names)
18 Am I loveable? Like a penguin, fool!
19 How long have you known me? Time unit = months [error!]
20 Describe me in one word. Amicable
21 What was your first impression? Alaska? Pshhh...
22 Do you still think that way about me now? Now I know you live in Alaska
23 What do you think my weakness is? Fire...I mean optimistic nature
24 Do you think I'll get married? Sure as the moon is round
25 What about me makes you happy? The fun-ness of ya
26 What about me makes you sad? The desolate place you live in, with only family nearby
27 What reminds you of me? Ecaflips...no but really...a sword..(dunno)
28 What's something you would change about me? I'd move ya to a great place in nature with a packed community of friendly ppl - meaning no change
29 How well do you know me?Well to say no when you ask for my acc xD
30 Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? Verily, but that's me. Secret agentiveness genes at work.
31 Do you think I would kill someone? No.
32 Are we close? Get off me, *ohff*
33 Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about
you? If the technical gods love me, then yes! *sacrifices RAM*